And The Oscar Goes To…

Have you ever watched the Academy Awards?  Have you ever noticed how all the shiny Oscars look exactly the same?    I believe this is where it all began for each of us.  I choose to believe we all began with a shiny self that is perfect and flawless.  This is the part of ourselves that is acceptable and good, the part that is absolutely enough.   We were all created with that complete package of who we are; we don’t need special training, experience or perspective to be who we are.  While we are all different, we were all created with a complete package of what it takes to make us who we are.

 

I started in the same place as everyone else.  From there, as I moved forward in my life, I began to add to how I displayed myself to the world.  I draped my shiny self in my experiences, both good and bad.  I painted on the colorings of my world; what I saw through my rose colored glasses and when I allowed myself to be painted with the opinions of other people.  I added to my display different bits of my world that I chose to collect.  The hat that displays my wisdom and the vest that shows I have heart.  I also picked up the backpack full of burdens that include people expressing their disappointment of me, judgment of me, their dislike of me and their anger at me. 

 

Regardless of those things I have chosen to display, I am still, down inside, my shiny, Oscar self that is acceptable, good and absolutely enough. 

 

By thinking or talking negatively about myself I am adding more burdens; by accepting the negative opinions and judgments of others, I am, again, adding more burdens.  Soon enough my shining self, that is absolutely okay, disappears beneath the coverings I have accepted to represent my life.  As time went by, I forgot all about my shiny Oscar self that is absolutely okay just because it is.

 

So now, I have declared a moratorium on every opinion about me, by any person, on any topic; good, bad or otherwise.  I dug down to the shiny Oscar self that I am, and used what I found for perspective as I sorted through that which I had chosen to use to show myself to the world.

 

When people are disappointed with me, I’m still okay.  When people feel I have let them down, I’m still okay.  When people have been angry at me, I’m still okay.  When people dislike me; you got it, I’m still okay.   When I have done something well, accomplished a goal or made a difference for someone, I am still absolutely okay.

 

Just like me, most of you sometimes find yourselves on the receiving end of negative input and, just like me, you are all still absolutely okay.  The challenges we have and the mistakes we make are simply challenges and mistakes.  They represent our behavior, but our behavior is not us.  Challenges and mistakes do not alter the fact that we are absolutely okay regardless of which challenges we have and mistakes we make.  The victories in our lives, while wonderful, don’t make anybody any better than anyone else.  Our habits and motivations may be better, or worse, than those of others; but we are still absolutely okay.  Our business in life may be important or it may not be; however who we are is cast in gold.

 

Please understand, I’m not suggesting we should stay right where we are and never strive to improve ourselves.  In reality, understanding this makes it easier to improve ourselves because whether we succeed or choose to have another go at it, we are still absolutely okay.  Down inside your present heart, don’t confuse your ‘who” with your “do”.  What you do may or may not be done well, but who you are is absolutely okay.

I’m Living the Dream

Okay, there it is.  I’m living the dream.  I have the Jaguar, the house on the water, a condo on Kaanapali Beach, Maui; and a big, fat balance in my money market account.  Through my foundation I give away more than I keep, and I keep a lot!  I wake up every morning with the opportunities of the world laid out for me like a buffet awaiting my selections. Okay, so it is still a dream for me.  I don’t yet have the car, house, condo or fat bank account I see in my dream.  On the other hand, the victory is already mine.  I already have something that gives me so much more opportunity. I have the ability to choose.  The freedom to choose; any thing, any time, any where, for any reason.  Emotional liberation came for me when I realized that there is choice in everything.  My choices put me in, and get me out of, every situation.  When I don’t succeed at something, I can choose to have another go at it, or I can choose to let it go and move on to other things.  I get to choose what I dream of manifesting.  I get to choose how and when I achieve my dreams. Now there’s an idea.  How would it be to get to choose when we achieve our dreams?  I already have that power. So do you.  As you move through your day, do you choose to learn the lessons presented to you, or do you set them aside and continue on as you have been?  When you decide to work for a couple of hours, do you choose revenue producing activity or do you choose to rearrange your paperclips?  Where you are, right this moment is the direct result of the quality of your choices.  You are always, always, always the perfect result of your choices.  No exceptions.  If you are still looking to achieve your dream, you must understand that up until this very moment, you have chosen to achieve something other than your dream.  Perhaps, you have chosen to protect how you spend your time, or maybe you have chosen to preserve your comfort zone. The choices of my past left me with the opportunity to benefit from personal growth in a big way.  The “nowhere to go but up” scenario fits pretty well.  So, a while back I made some choices.  I chose to focus on building a life instead of building a business.  I chose to believe that who I was as a person was holding me back more than what I knew, or didn’t know, about the business.  When I changed my focus, I changed my world.  In the same way looking forward shows you one thing, turning your head shows you a different image.  In that moment, those things we all hear like “you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person” and “it all works well as long as you do”, suddenly make sense.    The people you collaborate with aren’t buying what you present, they are buying you based on how well you present your information.   If you want to continue to believe life happens to you, you can certainly choose to believe that.  Or, you can choose to exit victimhood by learning all the choices are yours and always have been. If I had chosen to just build my business, I would have built a business.  Instead I chose to build a life and now my world is much bigger.  The choice was mine to make. You always have a choice, especially when it seems like you don’t!  Choose to take a moment and consult your present heart.  Choose your dream, choose to focus on it and choose to have it.   

My Happy Room

Do you have certain rooms in your house you love to spend time in?  I do too.  My office looks out at our pond and I love to be in my office with the window open in the summer.  If my deck counts as a room, I love summer days there, too.  In the winter time, my living room is very bright, sunny and wonderful to spend time in. 

I have come to see my emotions as rooms in a house.  The positive energy rooms include a Happy Room, a Peaceful Room, a Play Room, a Gratitude Room, and so on.  The negative energy rooms include a Sad Room, a Mad Room, a Frustrated Room; you get the picture. 

As I go through my day, I spend most of my time in the Happy Room, although the Peaceful Room is my favorite.  Now and then, I wake up to find myself in the Sad, Mad or Frustrated room; or sometimes during the day I take full responsibility for walking myself there with full knowledge.  Over time, I have learned how easy it is to notice where I am at any moment in time and I have only to step into another room to change how I feel.

The Happy Room is my default room.  I wake up in the Happy Room most every day and I do spend a lot of time there.  The Gratitude Room adjoins the Happy Room because I believe learning to be grateful has a lot to do with being happy.  While I haven’t achieved all my dreams yet, I have learned that I can be happy regardless of the status of my achievements.  I know I already have an infinite number of blessings and as time goes on, my blessings multiply.  I am happy and blessed, and tremendously grateful.

The Peaceful Room is absolutely my favorite.  I think because absence makes the heart grow fonder!  A cup of tea and a warm fire in winter and I am smack dab in the middle of my Peaceful Room.  I love it there; however it is a place of reflection and internal solitude, so it is not the place to get things done.

The Play Room is a room I can spend lengths of time in, although I also dart in and out of it periodically throughout the day because I love to have fun.  Teasing a friend puts me hopping in and out of the Play Room, having the time of my life.

Now on the other side of things are the rooms of negative energy.  The Sad, Mad, Frustrated, Hurt and whatever other negative energy rooms are out there.  It’s okay, I have times where I briefly visit these rooms and it really is okay.  I don’t get on myself about visiting one of these rooms because I can change my space at a moments notice.

As I move back into a positive energy room I must remember to breathe.  When I choose a good room to be in, I want to be breathing in the good air in that room.  A few deep breaths and all is well in my world.

We all have the same choices.  We can spend time in the negative energy rooms, however the longer we stay in those rooms, the harder it is to leave.  Funny, the longer we stay in the positive energy rooms, the easier it is to stay!

Frequently, I go into the negative energy rooms and clean them out from top to bottom.  I throw out all the pain and hurts because I no longer need them.  You would not believe how different my house feels!

Look deep into your present heart and notice which rooms you spend your time in.  The Happy Room is a great place to spend time—where do you like to spend your time!

Be a Water Lilly

For a long time now, I have appreciated water features for their peacefulness and calm.  I cannot walk by a pond or water feature without stopping to enjoy the serenity.  My husband and I built a pond in our yard about 10 years ago and we have enjoyed it immensely.  My pond is calm and peaceful, and I can spend time there enjoying the sound of the waterfall and the surrounding wildlife.  Oddly enough, the sounds of nature and water only enhance the peacefulness of the pond, and are always welcome.

We have all kinds of birds and small animals that come to the pond; most are welcome, some are not.  The squirrels come and we laugh at their antics and in return the pond provides life giving water for them.  Have you ever seen a hummingbird take a bath?  Quite a sight to see.  They bathe; then they fly up into a tree, hang on tightly and flap their wings for all they are worth in order to dry off. 

There are a lot of life lessons in our pond.  While the pond seems dead and lifeless all winter long; there is life there, waiting for its time.  When spring comes and the water warms, the fish begin to swim up to the surface and the plants produce beautiful fresh growth to take us through another season. 

I want to tell you a life lesson I learned from the plants in my pond.  I have a variety of plants including reeds, ribbon grass, water hawthorne, parrot feather and, of course, a water lily.  The variety of plants in the pond adds color, scent and texture; and they play a large part in the healthy life cycle of the pond.  The parrot feather is fine and lacy and while appearing fragile, is not very fragile at all.  The smallest piece can be left in the water and it will grow.  It can be planted, however it grows just as well free floating.  I can almost always find a piece of parrot feather at the bottom of the current, pushed aside underneath the ribbon grass.

The way we built our pond was with the waterfall toward one end so the pond has a definite current from the waterfall down to the other end.  I placed the water lily by the waterfall so that the lily pads would flow downstream in the current, instead of placing the lily at the bottom of the current and having the lily pads all wadded up at the end of the pond.  We enjoyed our lily that year but the next spring it didn’t begin to grow.  We purchased another lily and while it lasted the season, it also didn’t come up again the next year. 

I waited a few years thinking we would do without a lily.  Eventually, however, the temptation overcame me and I purchased another beautiful lily.  At the time, the only place I had to put it in the pond was at the bottom of the current, so I put it there intending to rearrange the pond when time allowed.  Then, the busyness of life took over and the lily never got moved.

The next season an interesting thing happened.  The lily came up in the spring just as it was supposed to.  Just as the other two had not.  When it began growing lily pads, I noticed something fascinating.  As the lily pads came up, they grew out into the current.  They actually pressed upstream, against the current.  The current had pushed all the other plants out of the way so as the lilies pressed out into the current, they became the center of attention for our pond.  The dark, empty water around them was the perfect backdrop for their beautiful, bright hued blossoms.  

The sight is breathtaking; the life lesson simple.  I would rather be the strong insistent lily choosing to live out in the center of the current of life; instead of the beautiful, but feint-hearted parrot feather spending its life hidden under the ribbon grass, being pushed around by the current.  Some wise person once said, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for”.  Even Donald Trump, on a recent episode of The Apprentice said, “I wake up every day to a fight.”  Of course, he isn’t referring to a literal fight, but to courageously taking on the events of the day in order to make things happen.

The funny thing is I don’t know for sure why the first two lilies didn’t survive into another season.  Is it possible they couldn’t survive because their circumstances gave them nowhere to grow?  We will never know.

Here is what I do know.  Every day in my present heart, I choose to be a water lily, courageously growing out into the current of life, making things happen.

  

What You See Is What You Get

What does the above phrase mean to you?  How many times have you heard it in your lifetime?  I know for myself, I have heard it hundreds of times.  As a rule, it refers to something that is what it is.  I have been described that way because I am a “shoot from the hip” kind of person.  Direct and straightforward; just what is, is. The phrase “what you see is what you get” is how I see the law of attraction, which can also be explained simply as “thoughts become things”.  Your minds-eye is your imagination, where you first see your dreams.  This is where dreams begin from the very first glimmer of an idea where your first thought is “that’s impossible”.  You begin to ask “is it possible?” when you really connect with your dream in your heart.  The more time you spend seeing it in your heart, the more detail you see and the more passion you feel.  The more passion you feel, the more you begin to feel the impossibility would be not achieving your dreams. When you think about your dream car, do you just see a brochure photo in your mind, or can you close your eyes and smell the new car smell?  When you imagine yourself on a tropical beach, do you just see the postcard worthy picture, or can you take a deep breath and feel the breeze in your hair?  Can you see yourself firing your boss?  Do you feel the lightness in your heart or the lifting of a burden at the very idea of it?  If not, is it possible you are seeing the impossibility of your dreams?  Seeing the impossibility is what keeps you from really living your dreams.    Think about something you dreamed about that became real for you.  If you see it as having been a dream, you probably spent quite a bit of time considering how badly you wanted it.  You can be certain it was not a moment of inspiration you forgot all about until suddenly it was yours.  How much time have you spent thinking about something you didn’t want and suddenly that became yours as well? If you can’t imagine yourself living your dreams, you are living in your doubt.  If you are living in your doubt, you cannot be living in your belief.  If your belief is in doubt, your dreams will not come true until you can believe your dreams are a given. Have you ever found yourself in a car, skidding on the ice?  If so, you probably know the feeling of being absolutely unable to take your eyes off of where you are going.   Professional drivers will tell you when you are skidding on the ice you must look where you want to go, not where you are going.  It takes deliberate thought to shift your focus to where you want to go and keep it there.  Your dreams are no different.   Take a moment right now.  Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and listen to what your present heart is speaking to your minds-eye.  See what you really want?  Go ahead and decide to believe the dreams you see for yourself are absolutely possible and yours for the taking.   What you see will truly be what you get.

Life in a Snow Globe

I woke up yesterday to a beautiful snowfall.  There was already snow on the ground from the previous day and now we were getting more.  That may not seem like a big deal, however the town where I live doesn’t get much snow.  Throughout the day it snowed and it was the wonderful swirling snow that seems to come from every direction; like living in a snow globe.

Today I woke up to the sound of dripping in my rain gutters.  I looked out the window and as the sun came up, I saw a beautiful, sunny day and melting snow everywhere!

I thank God for my blessings of yesterday and today.  You may be someone who chooses to thank the universe for your blessings and that is, of course, your choice to do so.  However, my God created your universe and I want to make my position on that issue clear.  The bountiful blessings in my life come from God each and every day of the year.

Yesterday’s blessings brought beauty, fun and joy to my life because I love fresh, beautiful snow; especially when it is still falling.  While everyone else is fussing about the snow on the roads and the problems it causes; I am enjoying the quiet beauty; grateful for God’s blessing me with something I love.

Today’s blessings are about the sun, the beautiful, blue sky and the rising temperature melting the snow.   In my book, when it is cold enough to maintain the snowy landscape, it is too cold for me.  I am grateful for warmer temperatures and our wonderful sunny skies.

As you can see, I’ve learned to be grateful even about opposing things.  I have benefited greatly by learning about gratitude and I find things to be grateful for in absolutely everything I ever see or do.  I have spent quite some time spinning my wheels wanting so much for my life to be different.  And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more, whether it is a material item, a relationship, or whatever it is you yearn for.  God created an abundant world for us to enjoy and He wants us to live happy, abundant lives.

What I did not understand was the abundance all around me already in the midst of wanting something more.  I didn’t feel grateful for what I had at all.  It wasn’t that my life was miserable; it certainly was not.  I just didn’t appreciate what I had because I wanted something else.  There is a wonderful balance to be found between being grateful for what you have and what you dream of having. 

What you think about, you bring about.  If you are focused on what you don’t have, your unconscious mind won’t start working on what you do want.  If you are looking around yourself and thinking, “my life isn’t supposed to look like this” your unconscious mind will arrange for you to have more of it. Try thinking, “this is a great place to be right now, and I am grateful; I can hardly wait to see what is coming into my life next!”

This isn’t your mom’s gratitude either!  “You better be grateful for what you have, a lot of people have less”.  This is true, real gratitude in the purest sense.  Take some time to learn to express real gratitude and consult your present heart about the blessings in your life now and in your future to come.

Committed To Being Perfect, Or Just Committed

Something occurred to me completely out of the blue and it surprised me to realize I had never thought about it this way before.  I may be the first person to ever tell you this, or I may be the last person to figure it out.

How many times have you set out to create change in your life by adopting a new habit and though you got started, you soon found yourself shifting back to the old status quo?  Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight or get your spending in line with your income, only to find yourself back where you started?  Ever wonder why we find change to be such a challenge?

Say, for example, you set out to lose some weight.  You start eating better, healthier food, and start an exercise routine.  Along the way you lose a few pounds and are thrilled.  Then you have a day or two of poor choices and quit because you gained a few pounds.  You miss your exercise for a day or two and pretty soon find it all too easy to miss more days.  Or, maybe you bought something outside of the budget you set for yourself.  You wake up one day, realize what you have done and decide you have failed.  You go back to your old habits because, clearly, you can’t do it.  Sound familiar?

It is as if we believe we only get one chance to create whatever change we want to make, so when we stray from the path we have chosen, we’re done.  Like when you go to the midway and play the game where you throw the balls into the basket.  You get one chance to throw each ball and once they are thrown, the game is over.  You have either won, or you haven’t.  Instead, I am choosing to look at it another way.  I am an artist creating a pencil drawing.  If I put a line somewhere I don’t like, I erase it and continue on with my drawing.  There are endless second chances.

Any change you make will require being committed to it.  Also required is remembering in the moment you are making different choices; and continuing to make those different choices even if you don’t want to.  It isn’t always easy but you always, always, always have a second chance.

As we move forward into this New Year, decide what you would like to see different in your life.  Most people have a victory in their life they have not yet realized.  Believe you can do it and choose not to dwell on the times you make a mistake.  Let your mistakes go and realize in that moment your preferred path is still stretching out ahead of you complete with all of your new, improved choices.  In your present heart you know you can do it.  Receiving victory isn’t about being perfect along the way, it’s about doing your best as you move ever closer to what you have committed to do.